Catcalling: "Fuck off x 30"

Title Credit: What a good friend had to say about catcalling.

Catcalling- It’s the whistle, the “hey, pretty lady”, or the honk of the horn and the car full of guys. You’ve either seen it, been subjected to it, or participated in it. It’s nothing new and has been around for centuries. For guys, it’s fun and games. And for women, it’s a daily and repetitive nuisance and a threat.

Historically speaking catcalling refers to the “shrill, whistlelike sound or loud raucous shout made to express disapproval at a theater, meeting, etc.” It originated in 1659 as a type of noisemaker, presumably sounding like an angry cat, used to express dissatisfaction in playhouses (Imagine Shakespearean theatre- the raucous crowd, the throwing of tomatoes… you get the picture, right?).

And if you find the origins of words to be important like I do, then the semantics of that definition matters. It points out that catcalling is a rating of a performance. And when used in conjunction with the modern day definition, it means that women are supposedly performing for men…

But hang on a minute… Does that mean that when I walk down the street with my headphones in, on my cell phone or just daydreaming, that I am doing it for men? Does it mean that when I wear a cute skirt, a long skirt, a misshapen skirt or a (insert any adjective) skirt, that men can vocally rate my performance as a woman?

I feel like I’m missing something here because I never consented to raucous shouts from cars filled with boys, from random strangers or from construction works leering from above. I didn’t consent to being reduced to my body and my sexuality.

And that is exactly what catcalling is. It is about the body. It is about sexuality. And it is about objectification. I am more than my legs, my ass or my appearance. And if a guy really wanted to complement me and start a conversation he would start talking to me, not at me. Somehow men have assumed that their yells for affection are appreciated and even desired. They aren’t. Somehow catcallers have mistakenly equated my silence and passivity (aka. walking down the street) as an invitation for more harassment. It isn’t. Instead, those loud whistles and the subsequent shouts are sexual harassment. 

And before I go too far, I do want to point out that most of the men in my life don’t catcall women. Or at least they don’t when I’m around (scary feminist, much?). And if they have, they probably didn’t mean any harm. But life is not just about good intention. The fact of the matter is that when a man “compliments” me while walking down the street, I feel scared, I feel uncomfortable and I feel unable to respond. Perhaps if catcallers took a moment to think about it, they would realize that catcalling is also fear inducing. Most women I know live in a climate of fear. In other words, a rape culture. An unsolicited remark on your sexuality does not make you feel good, it instead falls on the long spectrum of “threat to my personal safety”.

And to be honest, sometimes I might crack a smile because I want to make light of the situation. But that is not condoning or encouraging catcalling- it is instead a result of feeling uncomfortable and unsafe. That is one of the reasons I love Katie Baker’s piece on catcalling. She challenges women to talk back. She states:

“So I have a radical idea: Instead of thinking of all street harassers solely as criminals who deserve penalization and public ridicule, we need to communicate with them about how it feels to be the target of their actions.”

And this is my written version of talking back because I rarely feel comfortable enough to respond, let alone fast enough to have a witty come back.

So next time you see a pretty lady, don’t roll down your window, slow down, honk your horn and yell comments at her. Take some guts and talk to her like a human being and not an inanimate object created for your viewing pleasure. She isn’t and doesn’t like being treated like that. So for once and for all, just treat her like the human being that she is.

Photo Credit: Shakespearean Theatre, Catcallers, and a Cat Calling.

Don't Be That Guy

"I hear about the rapes one by one by one by one by one, which is also how they happen. Those statistics are not abstract to me. Every three minutes a woman is being raped. Every eighteen seconds a woman is being beaten. There is nothing abstract about it. It is happening right now as I am speaking.

And it is happening for a simple reason. There is nothing complex and difficult about the reason. Men are doing it, because of the kind of power that men have over women. That power is real, concrete, exercised from one body to another body, exercised by someone who feels he has a right to exercise it, exercised in public and exercised in private. It is the sum and substance of women's oppression."

- An excerpt from Andrea Dworkin's speech at the Midwest regional conference of the National Organization for Changing Men, in the fall of 1983. (Dworkin, 2005, p. 14)

In a recent paper on legal consent, I started with the above quotation by the very contentious feminist Andrea Dworkin. While I don’t agree with much of her politics, I do love how she centred men in the equation. She made an argument about sexual assault that leaves no questions about why it happens: It happens because men feel that they have the inherent right to rape women.

Changing the conversation from analyzing women’s actions to focusing on those of men is an extremely important shift. Current campaigns such as the Don’t Be That Guy Campaign (aka. all photos in this post) embody this perspective. Hopefully you will start seeing these ads in bars and clubs in downtown Vancouver (and let me know if you see them and tell me what you think!). They deconstruct rape myths that blame women. They emphasize that sex without consent is sexual assault. They tell guys not to be that guy.

But I must admit, I wish it went farther than that. I wish it focused on language, actions (or inaction) and the ways in which those maintain rape culture, as well. But there’s only so much an ad campaign can do (and this one is kick ass).

And if you were scratching your head, wondering what exactly a rape culture is, well just keep reading!

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Definition of Rape Culture:

A la Wikipedia:

"A culture in which rape and sexual violence against women are common and in which prevalent attitudes, norms, practices, and media condone, normalize, excuse, or tolerate sexual violence against women"

A la Shakesville:

"In a rape culture both women and men assume that sexual violence is a fact of life, inevitable as death or taxes... Rape culture encourages male sexual aggression... Rape culture is the way in which the constant threat of sexual assault affects women's daily movements... Rape culture is victim blaming... Rape culture is tasking victims with the burden of rape culture... Rape culture is encouraging women to take self-defense as though that is the only solution required to preventing rape... Rape culture is admonishing women to "learn common sense" or "be more responsible" or "avoid those places" or "don't dress this way" and failing to admonish men to not rape."

***

And I say this, because in my experience, talking to men about rape is a tricky business. It is a conversation that makes people uncomfortable, on edge and eventually defensive. People don’t want to talk about it when it comes up and it tends to be a conversation stopper. There is an awkward silence and then someone will pipe up “Well, I would never rape anyone”.

And that is the response that I have a problem with. Saying “I’m innocent” doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t challenge the status quo and it doesn’t contest rape myths. And if you think that I’m going to give you a pat on the back for being a good boy, you have got to be kidding me.

Instead, I find that this logic is a huge part of the problem. It is a statement that rids the majority of men (and women) from any responsibility. It makes them feel good about themselves and allows them to distance themselves from the ways in which they maintain the rape culture that they are supposedly not a part of.

But we are all a part of it. This rape culture is our culture. Perhaps we have not been raped, or we have not raped anyone but we are still involved in it. We still have it’s logic ingrained in our heads and acted out in our day-to-day lives. That is the power of rape culture- it is invisible, yet everywhere.

So rather then telling me that you would never rape anyone, tell me something constructive. Tell me the ways that you are going to stop objectifying women. Tell me that you will stop using the language of rape in jokes (“scream like you’re getting raped” will never be funny or acceptable). Tell me that instead of being silent you are going to start speaking out when people make hurtful and offensive comments about consent and sexual assault.

And even then, I might not pat you on the back. I want this type of reaction to be the norm. I want to take it for granted that when someone tells me "don't get raped tonight" that everyone will protest. I want women and men to take an active role in fighting our rape culture. Women have been taking the responsibility for long enough, and it is time that we were joined by the other half of the equation.

All Photo Credits to the Don't Be That Guy Campaign which is a partnership between WAVAW (Women Against Violence Against Women/Rape Crisis Centre), BC Women's Hospital and Health Centre, Battered Women's Support Services (BWSS), Bar Watch, and the Vancouver Police Department. Check it out!

p.s. This campaign originated in Edmonton, in the coalition Sexual Assault Voices of Edmonton (SAVE).